Monday, October 5, 2015

Cant Catch a Break

Do you ever have those times where you feel as if you can get up off the ground? That everything is just knocking you down and pushing you further and further back? I truly feel that way. I feel like I cannot catch a break to save my life. I am truly trying to keep my cool and sanity but sometimes it gets really really hard.

I have posted before and complaining about this but now things just keep adding to the chaos. On top of being now almost three months behind now on seventy five percent of our bills, my husband lost his job this weekend. REALLY?!?! You have got to be kidding me. I truly don't know what to do. Luckily my old job is letting me pick up as many shifts as I need, which is a bartender/server at Chili's, but no one is wanting to give anything up this week of course. Lets just keep piling it on please!!! Like I need grocery money. We will be lucky if his final check on Friday is like $60 after taxes and insurance. He had only worked two days. I do not think panic is the right word for how I feel right now. I am literally sick to my stomach and posting everything I can on yard sale sites on facebook to sell what I can.

I know that there is a light at the end of all tunnels but it is very hard to stay positive through all of this. I honestly do not know how. All I want to do is bawl into corner and cry. Please Lord give me strength.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Marlee's first birthday

It has been two weeks since I have last written on here and a lot has happened since! I am going to give a basic run down of everything and of course pictures of my daughters first birthday.

Planning a one year old's birthday should not be so stressful but it is. Trying to get the decorations done, since I made them myself was hard enough. I could not make them too soon because I had no where to store them, and I could not wait until the last minute because I had way too many things to do. I also made her tutu, her headband and her onesie. I was so proud and impressed with myself. I am not a girly person by any means, like polar opposite, so I was completely excited with the end result! The Friday before Marlee's birthday my sister called my at 4 p.m. to see if I could pick my mom up from the airport on Saturday because she had an unexpected funeral to go to in Columbus. So I got to scramble and find a baby sitter because there was no way I was driving with 2 kids, waking them up from nap time, all the way down to Cincinnati and back. Lets just add I also have not seen my mother since July 26 of 2014 for Marlee's baby shower. She lives in St. Pete, Florida. So on top of the scramble Friday, I also got to change my Saturday plans. Grocery shopping with 2 children that both have to be in the cart SUCKS!! And add balloons to the mixture! YAY ME! 

Sunday came and I had a shit ton of cleaning to do, so that was fun. My mom went and picked up Marlee's cake while I did all of this too. The birthday was awesome. My baby girl is loved and spoiled. After all the birthday shenanigans, we played cornhole and had a bonfire. It was a great day. However it irritates the shit out of me that people (adults and kids) CANNOT pick up after themselves. Cups, plates and things every where. How hard is it? I am that guy rinsing off my plate and others at someone else's house and helping them clean because I think it is completely rude. Other than that it was awesome.

My mom was with us until Thursday and then I had to take her back to the airport. Cincinnati at rush hour traffic sucks. I left the house at 3:30 p.m. and I did not get home until 7:25 p.m. I truly don't go to Cincinnati ever. Like that's the first time since last summer when we went to the zoo and before that I could not even tell you. 

Anyway I plan on being back on top of my blogging game. But here are some pictures from Marlee's first birthday!! :-)

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Mushy Mom

I keep gushing over how my baby will be turning a year old in a couple of weeks. I can not stop talking about her party, the plans and every detail. I am getting so excited for her first birthday, I think my husband is going to duct tape my mouth shut. Which surprises me because I am the completely opposite of a girly girl. I was always the one playing in mud and my husband says that I am a dude. I did cheer basically my entire life, but that was just to be closer to the crunching of the shoulder pads and to yell at the football players to get their asses in gear! 

With that being said I am also very sad that my baby is turning a year old. I cannot believe that it has been a year already, like I don't get it. The first year of Benson's life went by super fast, but I feel like Marlee's first year went by a warp speed. Both of my children started walking at nine mouths, so they were/ are pretty crazy by a year old. Benson was pushing chairs to get to the counters by a year. Marlee being on the shorter side is trying to climb furniture with little success and I am okay with that.

It is just hard for me to get over it. My husband does not want anymore kids, even though I think I want one more. So realizing that she is my last baby is a hard pill to swallow. I feel that at  27 I am not ready to make the decision that I don't want anymore children. I told him if we didn't have anymore by 30 I would get my tubes tide though, because I DO NOT want anymore after 30.

She is my baby though. My little fuzzy headed girl. Who gives kisses with her tongue out. Who loves to wave, clap and dance. Her screams is so high pitched it could break glass. But I love her. I never thought I could be a "girl" mom, but she is sure making it amazing!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Planning Marlee's Birthday pt 2

I really need help with ideas for food for Marlee's first birthday. My husband said lets just do Little Ceasars pizza and call it a day but I don't want to do that really. With Benson's birthday I did cool things that went with his hot wheels theme. We did concession style foods. What do I do though for twinkle twinkle little star theme? All I have seen is breakfast, but our party is at 3:30 p.m. and that just seems like too much of a hassle. I am on a small budget to feed around 30 people. And I am trying to make this as easy on myself as possible. I saw cutting peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into star shapes, I thought that was cute, but is that enough? Please help with any ideas. I need them because I am drawing a blank and not finding much on pinterest, which is my go too!

Monday, August 31, 2015

Planning Marlee's First Birthday

Marlee's first birthday is coming up soon, September 21st my baby will be a year old. It is really sad to me that it has come this quickly. I don't feel like I have enough time to plan her birthday! 
I went on pinterest to get her birthday theme. I did not want to do another ordinary theme. So I went with "twinkle twinkle little start." The colors are different shades of pink and gold.  I did the same thing with Benson's second birthday which was hot wheels theme and had so much fun. It is fun to get creative. Like I used doughnuts and put "spare tires" and pretzel rods dipped in chocolate as "dip sticks." But I haven't found a lot of stuff like that to do for hers. The decorations will be pretty easy but I am having trouble of thinking of other things to do. I am going to make star cookie wands. But other than that, I have got nothing! Help me!! 
Below are the pictures from the ideas of got. 

Monday, August 24, 2015

Eating after 8

 I know they say you aren't supposed to eat after 8 p.m. if you want to help yourself lose weight.... well that is sooo hard! I don't eat that much through the day, I am just too busy. I eat every meal though don't get me wrong, just not a lot at each meal. But after 9 ish both kids are asleep, so I can actually sit down and eat something, completely and without two kids climbing on me. So when this happens I snack a lot more than I should. I know breastfeeding had a lot to do with my snacking too but we are pretty much done with that.

How do you keep yourself from snacking through the night? Or snacking after 8 p.m.?

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Awesome Mom Moments

Oh goodness did we have one of "those days" yesterday. Here is how my day went...

Started out as usual, coffee, cartoons, and cereal. Remember we just potty trained about a month ago and still have accidents every once in a while. Benson didn't poop on the potty for the first two weeks, but we haven't had a poop accident in about 3 weeks. Anyway, I asked him around his usual time if he had to fart in the potty ( he thinks it is funny to fart in the potty so we say that instead of poop), and he said no. The next thing I know my husband is hollering Benson pooped. I went back to his room and it was all over the floor, I look up to Marlee on the bed and it is all over her and the bed. I mean IT IS EVERY WHERE!!! OMG I am going to throw up!!! My husband hates poop and I think after 2 kids in 3 years he has maybe changed 75 poop diapers total and that is me giving him the benefit of the doubt. Not to mention this was also right before nap time, so both kids were getting cranky and whiny. So I put both in the tub and basically hosed them off and washed them. Then as he was putting Marlee's diaper on, I put the gate up to keep them in the living room with daddy while I cleaned up the mess! It was disgusting. Had to take everything off the bed and scrub everything down. My dog helped and ate up the poop clumps while we were washing the kids. YUCK!!  I scrubbed the floor and scrubbed and there are still stains. I am a clean freak and this is freaking me out!! 

Later that day I was cooking dinner and trying to finish the laundry that ol' poop monster made for me. I also started my period for the first time since January 2014, so I felt like I was dying. Anyway the kids were playing in their rooms, going back and forth. I went down the hall to go to put some laundry away and low and behold, he shit again all over the hallway! This time my husband was at work because he was on 3 to 11. So it was just me, more poop, two babies and dinner going. F**K Me!!I seriously wanted to cry. So again I wiped him off and washed him and then started scrubbing the floor. I had to hurry though because I didn't want to leave them gated in the living room that long alone. Luckily she didn't get into this time and it wasn't all over other things. 

I seriously did not know what to do.  Kids smell like roses they said!! Oh mom moments!! Being a mom is definitely a wild and unpredictable ride!!